SR - Hey. How are you doing? How was your birthday? I didn’t think I was going to see you today.
Jan - Birthday was great. I lived my dream birthday and took that wonderful stove I told you about to the beach and had my lunch, read, meditated, and a new friend, Louise, joined me later for a cuppa and a chat. I didn’t go in the sea though. It was too rough for this time of year. I have been working all day and didn’t think I would get here but I needed some fresh air. It will recharge my mind for more writing later.
 
 
SR - That sounds interesting. Glad you had a great day. You deserve it.
Jan - I have started to return to Happiness Millionaire work. It is where I am aligned. I started to clear out some of my old stuff on the computer and came across an old promotional video of when I was ready to sell the handbag I had designed to the world, just before Murray died. I felt sad. Sad for the woman I had lost and sad for her, all smiling and enthusiastic with no idea what was coming in just a few days.
I miss her. I miss my old self. She had short hair, a spring of certainty in her step, and a twinkle in her eye.
 
SR - I believe the twinkle in your eye will return. It will shine differently, with a deeper certainty.
Jan - Mmmmm.... perhaps that will be the result of the courage and bravery I ask for. You know, you tend to think the loss is only surrounding the person who has died but it isn’t just that. We are not an island, as they say. We are all connected and when things change for others, they change for us too, right down to our cells, not just in the things we do with our time. We are constantly changing. Circumstances change us. As they change, the person we were before dies away to reveal a new version. It is hard to get your head around that.
 
SR - I guess, depending on how severe that change is, determines how much of that person falls away for new parts to grow.
Jan - That is a good way of putting it. We try so hard to hold on to the person and circumstances that once were. For me, all of me was blasted away. I am in the process of picking up the parts I like while being very conscious of what I choose for my life each day if that makes sense.
 
SR - It does. Like I said the other day, you have a new life now. Why create a new life with rubbish, for want of a better way to put that, from your old life?
Jan - Perhaps you are referring to scars of the old life. What is the point of going on with those? Here is a thought, perhaps we shed our old self every day, except we keep putting that old stuff back on when we get dressed in the morning. If we wear the same old stuff, we attract the same old rubbish!
 
SR - That is a really good thought. Perhaps shedding small parts of you isn’t enough to wake you up to truly change and live more with purpose.
Jan - I think you are right. You see, when you get blasted apart at your very core and I know this happens to all bereaved parents, it opens up other scars. This gives you the choice, and life is a choice, to heal past hurts and wounds or patch them over once more, just keeping busy and pretending all is well. Doing the same old, same old. Wearing the same old problems. Each loss, no matter what the loss is, is an opportunity to reassess and then consciously move into new territory.
 
SR - Move into new territory. I like that. Perhaps you need to connect with your old self and talk with her? Maybe write her a letter? See how she is doing?
Jan - Oh, Sylvia-Rose, wouldn’t that be a lovely thing to do. The tears are falling already. A goodbye and thank you letter.
 
SR - She won’t be far away, just like Murray. She will be by your side whenever you need her. It is just her time to step aside and let the new you grow and rise up. She wants the best for you too. One step at a time, though. No rush. Grow like a tree. Don’t force it.
Jan - I will definitely do that. She deserves that. She was massively hurt. She was doing so well with her enthusiasm to live her best life and help others do the same.
 
SR - Then that part of her is still part of you. You are still, I am going to say passionate about helping others rather than enthusiastic. There is a lot of pressure to be enthusiastic, especially when you are still treading through the unpredictable path of grief. Actually, I think there is a lot of pressure to be enthusiastic. Just keep being you. That is what you are put on this Earth to be. And when you find the best parts of you, show up with those.
Jan - You are a wise old Rock, Sylvia-Rose.
 
SR - You are a wise old....
Jan - Ey!!!! Just because I told you my age yesterday 😂 Time for me to take my refreshed brain back to work. I have a passion to share 😂
 
SR - You do! See you soon.
Jan - It May be a while. I am off to celebrate mine and Lewis’s birthday for the weekend.
 
SR - Have a great time. Give them my love 😍
Jan - I will do 😃💛💃
 
 
NEXT CONVERSATION - You don't get over the loss, you transform   - HERE