43. He wants to shine brightly
Dec 30, 2023
You are going through life and all is well. Instantly, it all changed and you were on your knees, feeling lost with no idea how life goes on without your loved one.
Hi, I am Janet Jones, founder of Happiness Millionaire. Welcome to my conversations with my rock on the beach, Sylvia-Rose. She helps me navigate the next chapter of my life, the chapter without my 22-year-old son, Murray. Join these musings about life, grief, and loss with my rock, Sylvia-Rose. To learn why she is called Sylvia-Rose and how and why we met, I invite you to read my first blog - 'If Rocks Could Talk, Meet Sylvia-Rose'. You could also register to have these blogs delivered to your email inbox so you never miss them. Click the FOLLOW SYLVIA-ROSE button.
6th April
Jan - Morning, Sylvia-Rose. Nice tattoo 
SR - Morning. Thank you. It is a kiss from the ocean for you.
Jan - Thank You. Ocean 
SR - How are you doing?
Jan - I am good. I am pretty good. The morning meditation practice is now well established and today I added ten minutes of yoga too, while doing the Ho’oponopono prayer. It is bringing calm to my soul.
SR - Great. You can achieve many things from a calm soul.
Jan - I believe you can. Is the soul not always calm?
SR - It is. There is just a lot of noise in the form of feelings and emotions that prevent people from getting to the calm.
Jan - That is true. It is getting noisier. The last time we spoke, we were talking about my heavy heart. My friend, Anne Winslow, considered the heavy heart to be grief and that it wasn’t Murray, as I had said. Murray is love.
SR - He is. He is the extra light that shines within you. You have your light, your love and courage, and now you have his too. He wants to shine brightly through all the people he loved and who loved him. He is omnipresent now.
Jan - mmmm… Anne wanted me to chat with you about my constant wish to have him back when I know that is impossible.
SR - It is impossible in his human form.
Jan - That is the form I wish for. Is that grief?
SR - It is a perfectly natural wish. Grief is also natural. I would say that the heaviness in your heart is grief. Hearts aren’t meant to be heavy. A happy heart isn’t heavy, is it, Happiness Millionaire?
Jan - No it isn’t. It is light but with awareness of the dark and dances in all of life’s colours.
SR - That is a beautiful way to put it.
Jan - The last time we chatted, you said I should hug and nurture my heavy heart. If my heavy heart is grief, I don’t want to be hugging and nurturing that.
SR - It is the heart of many colours that needs hugging and loving. As you do that, with love, you can release the grief and say thank you. It is no longer serving you.
Jan - It is so big to lose a child, I feel I should be grieving and in pain forever.
SR - ‘Should’. Mmmmm…. That is an interesting choice of words. Why should you?
Jan - It feels wrong if I don’t.
SR - Another interesting word. Why does it feel wrong?
Jan - I guess I am afraid to let go of the pain because I don’t want Murray to feel I didn’t care. I guess there is part of me that I don’t want others to feel I don’t care either.
SR - We are going deep here. Why has this got anything to do with anyone else?
Jan - OMG, you are now sounding like the old me! It has NOTHING to do with anyone else.
SR - It doesn’t, but more importantly, everyone else wants to see you being joyful and happy, and releasing the grief so you and Murray’s love can shine through and make a positive impact on the world. Don’t they? You know that.
Jan - I do. What about Murray though?
SR - You also know that Murray, truly wants your light to shine so he can too. He is love and he loves you and all his family. He is connected to you and he knows you love him, you don’t have to grieve for him, for him to know that, you have to shine for him, for him to know that. Grieving and being in pain is the easiest.
Jan - That is so true. It would be so much easier to just keep feeling down, eating all the delicious chocolate, biscuits, and anything with sugar and fat to keep punishing me. Sitting and watching TV in the evening with a bottle of wine and a big bag of crisps. I see how easy it is to do that.
SR - But you are alive, Jan. You want to live, not exist and wait to die. That is what holding on to grief is.
Jan - Wow. You have made that so clear. That is exactly what holding on to grief is. All grief. The world is so full of unresolved grief.
SR - Yes, it is. So, please nurture your colourful heart and bring some light into the world of unresolved grief. Release your grief and you release the grief of others.
Jan - That is the essence of Ho’oponopono. Clear your pain and you clear others too.
SR - And so it be.
Jan - Once again, I feel lighter. It must have been the kiss from the ocean.
SR - Let’s not forget my wisdom 
Jan - Of course! You have been great. Thank you. I am off to get on with my colourful day. See you soon.
SR - See you soon. And well done.
Jan - What for?
SR - Keeping up your morning meditation and yoga.
Jan - Well, I have only done the yoga once. Congratulate me in a week
