51. Feeling worthy of the invitation to live fully

Jan - Sorry it has been a while. I have been busy spreading happiness.

 

SR - Great News. You are still feeling good then?

Jan - I am. It is amazing when your energy level increases, you can see more joy around you and opportunities start to show up, the world looks a little more inviting. And you feel worthy of the invitation to live fully.

 

SR - What a great description, an invitation to live fully. Who wouldn’t want to live fully on a beautiful day like today?

Jan - Not so long ago, I didn’t! It wasn’t about the outside weather it was about the inside weather. I had major storms going on. The challenge was, I felt like other people expected me to feel joyful because the sun was out and it was a beautiful day to be alive. It was but I was a long way from the feeling of being alive. I feel it now. I feel it with great joy in my heart. I will always wish I could physically share this with Murray and I bless each day I get to share with my other children. In fact, I bless each day I get to share with anyone.

 

SR - I am so happy you made the journey to discovering truly living from the inside. That needs spreading!

Jan - It does. I am done with spending too much time alone. I feel I have made massive inner progress, I carry with me the light of love and it is time to connect with more people. Each day, I go out of my way to meet more people. I desire to be a bigger part of this community. I want to belong to the place where I live.

 

SR - What are you doing about that?

Jan - Each day, weather permitting, I go around town on my bike. I have found a fabulous Community Cafe. The place is filled with love and hope. The owner and I are going to see if we can inspire the customers to join us with a photography project of photographing things that make us happy.

 

SR - That sounds like it will be a nice positive focus.

Jan - I believe it will. Times are very challenging for the people who go there for food and company. I just want to add a little happiness, if I can.

 

SR - I am sure you can. If anyone can, you can.

Jan - Well, thank you.

 

SR - I say that because you can empathise more now. A deep loss or trauma opens a gateway to connecting with people. It opens your mind to find creative ways to help without judgment. You now know that everyone is just a breath away from life-changing.

Jan - They are but that breath is not only for life-changing in a heartbreaking way but also in a beautiful way. You never know when your life will change. You never know the moment you may fall in love, the moment an opportunity you had no idea was on the horizon crosses your path at a time when you are ready to follow it and each step changes your life.

 

SR - Perhaps the important thing is to be open to what may happen.

Jan - I think it is about being open to embracing living. Embrace the journey you are sent on. In the summer of 2019, I believed I was on a journey of designing, and manufacturing stylish products that would bring joy and inspiration to women. I believed my teachings and writing would change people’s lives and I was ready, enthusiastic, and very happy. I had no idea, that in one moment, one life-changing sentence, all that would shatter and I would be sent off in a tornado of change. So viciously I didn’t believe I would survive.

 

SR - Who knew that out of such darkness would come so much light and fill your heart with overflowing love?

Jan - I never knew that could be possible. I guess this is what is meant by ‘unconditional love’.

 

SR - I guess so, there are certainly no conditions.

Jan - There is one condition.

 

SR - What might that be?

Jan - That I continue to live consciously and aware of the magical gift of life. I think we forget that at our peril.

 

SR - I think you are right.

Jan - This isn’t easy though. While I walked along the beach this morning, in the glorious, warm sunshine….

 

SR - It is warm, isn’t it? So lovely to feel it.

Jan - yes it is.

 

SR - Sorry, you were saying?

Jan - Walking along the beach on this perfect day, the loch like a mill pond. Birds singing and flying, swans swimming, it couldn’t be better, yet I found my mind wondering off into a shadow conversation to past hurts, not Murray, but family, and wondering if I could have done better, my mind blamed me for not making enough effort and on and on it went until I caught it! It rarely happens anymore. It surprised me.

 

SR - What did you do?

Jan - I smiled.

 

SR - Cute!

Jan - Then I stroked my heart, that is really what is going on with these conversations, the heart needs a little more compassion. Then I repeated the Ho’oponopono prayer. Walking in the sunshine, grateful for all the beauty around me, I stroked my heart and repeated, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, and thank you, over and over until the conversation evaporated. I was very grateful for hearing the conversation in my head and knowing how I could heal it.

 

SR - How are you feeling now?

Jan - Great. The healing happens instantly. I am glad I know of this treatment. There is definitely no point in living in the past. There is nothing I can do there.

 

SR - No. That is something no one has the power to change.

Jan - Sadly not. All we can do is embrace it, heal it, and allow the love to come through

 

SR - So wise.

Jan - It has taken a while and a few twists and turns to get there. I am going to head off now. I am treating myself to an easier day today.

 

SR - Quite right. Enjoy the sunshine.

Jan - You too. Love ya Mrs!

 

SR - Love you too, MRS! Have a beautiful day.

Jan - I will.